Shattered Mind
by maelstrom137
Summary: very short one shot dealing with the aftermath of Thancreds possession by Lahabrea


SHATTERED MIND

"Congratulations my friend, another primal slain by the hand of the Warrior of Light" Beamed Minfillia.

As the antecedent, along with the other scions, welcomed back their triumphant hero, one of their number hung back. Still ashamed and feeling lost, he turned away and left to his private chambers at the waking sands, however this did not go unnoticed.

How could he explain? How could he make them understand? He didn't yet fully know himself the extent of the damage LaHabrea had left on him, the physical wounds of his battle with Hydaelyn's chosen were all but healed. His mind however was still fragile, teetering on the edge of shattering completely.

While musing on this a knock sounded on his chamber door accompanied by a concerned voice

"Thancred?"

"Not now 'Shtola" came a gruff reply

"I think now would be a most opportune time old friend, young Alphinaud has it in his head to create his own grand company and..."

Before she could finish, Y'Shtola heard the chamber door unlock, a silent but telling gesture. Pushing open the heavy wooden door she peered into to the dimly lit room, scanning quietly for her target.

She spotted her quarry, sitting hunched over on the edge of his bed, head hung low.

"Talk to me Thancred" she asked

"Of what? Days gone by when I was at least some use to you all?" Came a reply

"Elementals give me strength! You of all people should know that sitting here dwelling on the past will achieve nothing, the chirurgeons have predicted a full recovery" Y'Shtola argued

"My body may recover, but my mind, my mind is broken..." Thancred let his words tail off

"What do you mean broken?" The Miqo'te inquired

"LaHabrea, his meddling has left...scars, I'm not the same as I once was, I'm different. Being under his control was the single most terrifying experience of my merge existence"

Y'Shtola kept quiet and let her friend continue.

"I was there the whole time you know? Behind my own eyes. Screaming at you all, pleading, begging for you to hear me, but different words came from my lips, but I was there"

Thancred shook a little with the memory of events best left buried, but continued on.

"The same applied to my body, I willed myself to go one way, yet I would go in another. It was a false sense of control that I believe he allowed to torment me"

Y'Shtola now approached the bed and sat next to her friend, leaving him space and saying nothing, this was his time to talk, and he needed it.

"That was just when it was all happening, now that it's over and he's gone there is... Damage"

"Damage? Why have you not told the physicians attending to you" inquired Y'Shtola

"I have of course, they are hopeful it will mend itself in time, but for now It is making life difficult"

"What then? What is happening?" Asked Y'Shtola, almost pleading to understand.

With a sigh Thancred stood and moved over to a window, he stared out at the buildings of Vesper Bay, trying to gather his thoughts before continuing,

"I have a constant headache now, I mean constant, like he's left an open wound there. I'm a lot slower to react, the days of my sharp wit seem gone forever, I need to think on every word I speak for fear of it coming out wrong, the letter B in that instance is quite tricky" said Thancred almost with a grin

"But the worst is how I feel lost in my own mind sometimes, if I'm asked a question, no matter how simple I can see the answer, yet not deliver it, it's... Hard to explain"

"Then try old friend, but do not feel forced" she said as she made her way to where he stood and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Without looking up Thancred tried to put his thoughts into words.

"Imagine your an island in a vast ocean, and your mind is a cove on that island, where the shoreline is your thoughts and what you want to say and do. Most of the time your on the shore, feet firmly on the sand. Things are fine and thoughts coherent, then suddenly your in the water, floating in the ocean looking at the shore, knowing you need to get back before you drown. It sort of feels like that. Like my mind shuts down and I need to get back to the shore before I can carry on, sometimes it's like being meters away, others it's like being taken out by the tide and feeling like I'll never make it back, what if i never make it back?!" This was his breaking point, he collapse to the floor in a heap, sobbing like a child.

"I'm just so scared if my own mind now, it doesn't even feel like mine anymore! Damn him! Damn that bastard!"

Angry he struck the floor, instantly regretting it the moment his fist hit solid stone, no longer able to silently watch her comrade, Y'Shtola knelt down beside him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She could feel him heaving with every sob that wracked his body.

"It's ok Thancred, it's ok my friend, we will get through this, we will get you better" she said, possibly more to appease herself than him, but her intentions were still true.

They both then just sat there, no more needing saying, he had bared all on what was a harrowing experience, and the damage it had left behind,and she was struck by how such a strong man, a clever, quick and witty mind could be brought so low.

The only thing left was to hopefully fix his shattered mind, and only time could accomplish that.


End file.
